Today, as I was procrastinating from actually writing the proposal, this
wee piece of wisdom (you can click on the link) by Stephanie Renaud appeared in my Facebook feed. Usually, I don’t read everybody’s blogs or posts or even shares because, well, life is full enough for me right now. But this one compelled me to read it.
I am every so glad that I did.
I don’t want to give away what it is about because I want you to discover for yourself, as I did. That is very much a part of the fun of discovery.
I have been playing hide-and-seek with myself since April when my dreams seemed to go up in smoke. A dark, acrid smoke that cut off my breathing for a bit.
Somehow love found a way back for me. The love of a good man who walks beside me every day. The love of a Spiritual Advisor who helped me to sort all the messages into useless and harmful and even better nourishing.
The love of getting my fingernails into the good earth and watching new things push forth from the leaf litter into hopeful green sprouts.
The love of seeing pollinators happily
return to my garden.
The love of picking up pen and drawing images and words.
And finally the love of walking in the woods.
But another thing I hide is my talent. I allow the words and actions (or intimidating rebuffs) to speak who I am. We all do sometimes. I have a knack for it.
But today, I am taking back my life. I am writing that proposal. I am filling out the “business” forms.
I am carving words on my arm. Well, not literally, carving words; but I am pondering a semi-colon tattoo. There was no three’s a charm from this latest cruel snub.
Today I also listened to a TEDx talk by Adam Leipzig. (click on the link)
He spoke on finding your life purpose.
I thought I knew what that was.
Someone tried to douse my dreams, perhaps not intentionally, but it was an overt gesture of denigration, so…
I struggled. Felt a little wobbly for a bit. Well, I felt a lot wobbly.
I don’t even know what caused me to watch the talk, but again, sometimes the Universe just drops some little gem in your lap.
I’ve been exposed to his line of thought before.
Thought I had it memorized.
Thought I had it down solid.
But, the little blip that was April had caused me to forget.
Happy to say I no longer have that amnesia.
I have purpose. I have talent. I have a gift to share. I will share it.
The reason I will share it is that I know I am not alone in this. And I know I have another knack — the ability to help bring balance into Creation by helping people to remake their worlds with words and paper.
So, now, I am moved to get back on track.
Thanks to so many who held me while I recovered.
Leafology is back!
One thought on “Courage to be…”
I read the blog post you linked to, and watched the Ted talk, and read your words more than once. They all resonated with me, but yours was the most resonant.
It’s odd that not very many people know they can be who they are, that it’s OK to find out who they are, in spite of the myriad self-help books, self-actualization courses and other things. Most people go through life being what they do, rather than what they are.
We often take inventory of our lives and our lives’ purposes when we’ve come through something life-changing, whether positive or negative, as it seems to me you’ve done here. I applaud you for your courage and wisdom.
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